i want to write about all the grief affecting us twenty-somethings, but it plays right into our public reputation as privileged whiners with too much time on their hands. here’s what’s happening though.
we’ve been told all our lives to shoot for the stars and fulfill our dreams. that happiness is out there but you have to reach for it.
after college, life becomes so much starker and is cut down to its bones. through the lens you can clearly see what’s in front of you. nothing else is known.
everyone is suffering in some way. it’s easy to hide, we’ve spent our whole lives building up ways to pretend we’re fine and happy, to hide our desperation and dissatisfaction and boredom and worries behind fake laughter and fakely happy memories. we drown our sorrows with coffee and alcohol and cigarettes and drugs. we numb ourselves out, we fill our time with shitty entertainment and shitty events with shitty people talking about the same shitty things because that’s what you do, that’s how you stay happy on the weekends.
why all the pretending? when you don’t, the negativity seeps out and starts affecting everyone. it’s like a cold bitter wind giving everyone chills, giving everyone a cold, sapping out their energy, their lifeblood. it does no good to wallow in sadness.
it also does no good to keep pretending, though. why can’t we just embrace the wonder and excitement we should feel at the world of opportunities at our fingertips? instead of getting lost in a sea of insecurity and doubt. traveling is a lie, too, we do it because we feel it can help us escape somehow, or make others jealous of our adventures. but it’s just the same you, the same life, in a different place. you can be anything anywhere you are. be you. you’re interested in _something_. you like _something_. keep doing it. see if you can make a living out of it. just know that there is always something that brings warmth into your life, and seek it out. even if it’s different from what your friends like to do (there will be others who will like it too). even if it’s too “normal” for your friends, or too “weird.” keep changing. keep growing. feel blessed with the potential and opportunities you have and do something with it. stop wallowing away in a culture that rewards each other for our sarcasm, our detachment, our obsession with inane things that don’t matter at all in the slightest. find real meaning, whatever keeps your heart pumping, keeps your brain ticking, keeps your hands busy.
from a blog post, written thurs sep 26 1:31am.